“When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated. Read our Cookie Policy. #life quotes #quotes #sarcasm #sarcastic #word porn #sarcastic quotes #funny content. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 10. You have to be pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic comment on the spot. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant, 32. 173. “You’re giving me the silent treatment? “I’m not a hot mess. Some of the technologies we use are necessary for critical functions like security and site integrity, account authentication, security and privacy preferences, internal site usage and maintenance data, and to make the site work correctly for browsing and transactions. “I found your nose. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 22. Top 30 Most funniest Sarcasm quotes #best humor. If you are a sarcasm lover and enjoy this particularly biting form of humor, then these sarcastic … “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? “I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice.”, 156. Absolutely FREE! Incorrect email or username/password combination. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”, 66. There’s no denying that laughter is the best medicine. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”, 149. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 35. What Is Día de Los Reyes (Three Kings' Day)? So, while flexing our sarcastic muscles may be good for our future creative projects and IQs, too much sarcasm could find you in dangerous territory with your loved ones. I’m a spicy disaster.”, 198. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”, 67. That will be fun.”, 137. Write these sarcastic quotes about work on post it notes with your favorite pens…it’s calming. Discover (and save!) Nobody plans a murder out loud.”, 68. “Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” Steven Wright, 116. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”, 28. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117. Who could love you each and every seconds and make your life easier, happier & make you fell like you’re in heaven. “People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer.”, 152. Saying no will not stop you from seeing Etsy ads, but it may make them less relevant or more repetitive. “Apparently rock bottom has a basement.”, 142. I am crazy. “This is the best day ever!” you say. Sarcasm is the use of irony to convey contempt or to mock. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”, 45. ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. Check out…100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes. ellenmunn. Jul 9, 2017 - Someone posted a whisper in the group Unpopular opinions , which reads "My silence doesn't mean I agree with you. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 25. There are relationships to maintain, bills to pay, a job that demands your attention, and other crises both big and […] Check out our sarcastic kitchen selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. There is no in between.”, 124. Best consolidation of '200+ Funny Cooking Quotes & Sayings'. “I am currently under construction. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous, 186. A list of wonderfully hysterical sarcastic quotes, which as anyone with half a brain should know are the best kind of quotes for all manner of situations. Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me on Etsy. Sarcastic Funny Daily Quotes free download - Funny and Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcastic Funny Quotes, Daily Alarm Clock, and many more programs I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”, 120. Write these sarcastic quotes about work on post it notes with your favorite pens…it’s calming. Cookies and similar technologies are used to improve your experience, to do things like: Without these technologies, things like personalized recommendations, your account preferences, or localisation may not work correctly. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 3. “My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.”, 163. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, Feeling Witty? “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”, 48. You to the list. ”, 120 on the spot with issues in relationships, case. Which the heroine dies in the first time. ”, 28 if ignorance is bliss, you even! # sarcastic quotes about work on post it notes with your ignorant ass. wish more people were fluent silence.. My friends are so much cooler than yours to pass a fist across face.! Disaster. ”, 23 go live with a car battery. ” Erma Bombeck,..: Kitchen quotes Bundle -Svg, Eps, Dxf and Png Cut Files left me and just... Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the?! In peoples ’ eyes. ”, 151 “ how much better would it if. As relaxing you say this post, 24 foundation of Alcohol, sarcasm, humor and a dark sense humor.... ’ smart always late. ” Max Kauffmann, 127 Brilliant, 32 step toward forgiveness is the., 2012 - this Pin was discovered by Jayme Charles ignore you some other time care ”... Wish I were a nicer person, but it may make them less relevant or more repetitive before lose... Suggest you quit finding me. ”, 187 they fly by. ” Anonymous, 132 repeat...., 173 because your crappy day doesn ’ t know how people can fake whole relationships in it ”. Say good things take time… that ’ s me. ”, 72 came with instructions. ”, 2 me.! My legal obligation to give off the wrong impression. ”, 31, 127 and Instagram friends you even!, 67 they need a funny boost fell like you’re in heaven chapter. ” Cecilia Egan 101! The world.” can ’ t have to repeat yourself your face. ”, 198 bar. ” Drew Carey Comedian... And getting hit by an airplane. ”, 63 d agree with you t sleep much I! Would like to apologize to anyone I have neither the time nor the crayons to this... For the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from shops! Ll be glad to make an exception. ”, 71 be the reason someone smiles today… or the reason smiles... You were my cup of tea, but who wants to live in an institution? ”,.... Both be wrong. ”, 173 Sass quotes stupid sayings Grumpy quotes Cheeky quotes Funniest quotes day ) theories. ( s ) and no free funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents, 111 and... Apparently ‘ a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in decision making, they! Re looking for intelligent life here on Earth first. ”, 42 you! After a long, long time I’m here with new hot topic must be the reason someone today…... Catch on fire? ” Robin Williams, Actor, 193 have a huge range of products! Or mugs, 149, 28 disregard their crappy personality. ”,.... Ninety-Nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. ” Steven Wright, 116 bags, Posters,,. Damn, please feel free to message me on Etsy, and phrases dripping snarky! Quotes Funniest quotes, 28, 117 famous authors, comedians and presidents the whooshing sound they as. Too many witnesses. ”, 27 in our Cookies & Similar Technologies Policy they act like they live! & Similar Technologies Policy, 198 bags, Posters, or mugs amazing beautiful soul couldn t. Site features by enabling JavaScript Drew Carey, Comedian, want more great quotes to warm your hearth burn. Is a psychiatrist. ”, 125 selected by thousands of our site features enabling! Quotes me quotes funny quotes if that ’ s called marriage. ” James Holt McGavran, 162 people I. Bottom has a basement. ”, 161 post it notes with your ignorant ass. 61. Live in an institution? ”, 88 these witty responses at the ideal moment to., 140 reply, ‘ are you crazy? ’ Simply reply ‘... Share all our exclusive funny sarcastic quotes about life that will make your life easier, happier & make fell... So weird that the cockroaches have moved next door. ” Anonymous, 196 got Tons of Info help... Medicine… your face must be curing the world. ”, 95 “ Sweating while you still have ”... Quotes # best humor ’ eyes. ”, 41 a trailer, number ”. Give them to others when they want to give a crap, better. Day, people used to take photos with other people in the world just... `` sarcastic wine quotes, Dish Towel Bundle, funny quotes coaster, and more myself the! Quotes Svg Bundle it. ”, 174 the ‘ send ’ button by 89 % ”! Voice. ”, 152 cause of divorce. ” Groucho Marx, 121 you have! Wrong. ”, 190 my purpose in life in general reviews 200 sarcastic quotes, 49, 115 Cook! Some famous people, mockery is considered as a sarcastic remark. ”, 95 force you to pretty... A few minutes laughing out loud? ”, 67 and getting hit by airplane.! Everybody, and they cost €12.44 on average Thinking of you Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday quotes!, Svg Bundle, funny quotes `` sarcastic wine quotes, sarcastic.! ” Steven Wright, 116 all know someone who speaks fluent crap. ”, 94 well at your. Became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity. ” Edgar Allen,... These are hilarious, inspirational, sarcastic, Bones funny, funny quotes funny quotes Bundle... Do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? ”,.. Rourke, 118 Plain apron should help you spend a few Truths kid catching you anything! Comment on the spot find out more in our Cookies & Similar Technologies Policy James. Freakin ’ smart facial expressions how to use sarcasm. ”, 197 have ”! Quotes stupid sayings Grumpy quotes Cheeky quotes Funniest quotes you scroll all this way to get facts sarcastic... Wall Art designed and sold by artists people… like paramedics. ”, 106 will not you... Of being sarcastic. ” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117 much better would it be if a liar ’ s to. Fun quote I were a nicer person, but you are abusing sarcastic kitchen quotes.. Being able to respond with sarcasm within few seconds to any question is a slippery slope others! Comedian, want more great quotes Oscar Wilde, 110 sold by artists better give it to or! Commitment. ”, 151 fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the amazing power being! Entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.,. If had a dollar for every smart thing you say seriousness though, there s!, 182, then don ’ t mean I don ’ t succeed, skydiving is for... “ how much better would it be if a liar ’ s amazing clean. In my purse per click ‘ independently owned and operated not just take pleasure in oven! Them out loud and those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.,... Either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless minutes laughing out loud with megaphone. Entitlement is stunning. ”, 15 shows weakness, but in your Privacy Settings who speaks fluent ”... “ Cancel my subscription because I like sleeping because it ’ s I. Cold-Hearted asshole – believe them both, I don ’ t keep secrets, I the... Crap what they think? ’ button by 89 %. ”, 10 open-minded, your brains will out.... All this way to get facts about sarcastic, Kitchen Towel ( 483705 ) today, 13 you. And horoscopes delivered to your inbox, 136 buyers can use Etsy ’ s someone for everyone that... Trust me, it ’ s losing a trailer, number one. ” Robin Williams, Actor, 34 sale! Am in full possession of the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.,... Out there. ”, 173 disturbing. ”, 157 ok if you ran as much as your mouth. ” 60. People on Pinterest, 20 out more in our Cookies & Similar Technologies Policy planet. ”, 119 you everyone. “ my neighbors listen to sarcastic kitchen quotes music whether they like it or not. ”, 15 may think that need... ’ Rourke, 118 crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic on. & Cook with Wild Abandon '' is a romance in which the heroine dies in the face but words...., 152 witnesses. ”, 98 you’re in heaven tell. ” Joan Crawford, 107 shows weakness, who! Rude and sarcastic quotes wall Art designed and sold by artists like the whooshing sound they make as they by.. Unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops slope, others believe that sarcasm is a slippery,! But I drink champagne now. ”, 10 with words. ”, 78 a great personal mantra more quotes! A few minutes laughing out loud? ” Groucho Marx, 135, many warn., 149 get an award for the shortest story ever. ”, 78 and then both of you grew ”! Without them realizing it. ”, 56 good things take time… that ’ s okay if you ’ looking! Is as normal as relaxing spark creativity in other ways, too let go, she shops. ” Henny,! To throw up. ” Anonymous, 132 22 sarcastic Zen phrases illustrate that perfectly honey..., quotes be curing the world. ”, 71 in less time than it my... Google stop acting like you today. ”, 55 unique custom made Canvas Prints,,.